Soooo! We are back with part 2 of the “Sis, Stop Lyin’!” series which discusses things to consider when approaching the dating scene. Part 1 can be viewed here where the question was answered – am I ready to date? So you are confident and you hit the places you can meet potential bae, and omg! You’ve met bae! You’ve met your future baby daddy/mumma-your ride or die- your bff – the one who’s name will have permanent residency on your lips! But what happens next? This post discusses the getting to know you stage….
So you’ve been on a few dates, or agreed to exclusively get to know each other…what happens next? It is time to get honest and evaluate if you could see yourself spending more time getting to know this person.
Firstly, do you feel comfortable sharing your aspirations with this person? Are they pessimistic or do they have self-limiting beliefs?
Secondly, do your core beliefs match? Do you have similar ideas concerning faith and purpose?
Next, do you have similar priorities and is the other person considerate and understanding with regards to your priorities? For example, your hectic or unconventional work schedule, your devotion to serving, your studies, the relationships that you have with your friends and family.
Almost there – do you share the same values with regards life?
These are all things that you should be able to gage in the getting to know you stage and let me say that there is no time limit on this stage. Use your discernment to move as fast or a slow as you please through this stage.
And finally, are there any red flags whilst you’re getting to know this person? Do they keep their word, are they aggressive or impatient, and is there a part of their character or lifestyle that is a non-negotiable for you? If so, it shows that you respect them and yourself to discuss any red flags in a courteous and considerate way. I once heard that we should always leave people better than we found them. Just because you are not a fan of a characteristic of someone else does not mean that you should be disrespectful towards them.
If you do decide that this person is someone who you would not like to take things forward with, it’s better to communicate that sooner rather than later – DO NOT LEAD PEOPLE ON! Be gracious and kind.
If you do decide that this is someone who you would like to take things forward with, again use your own judgement and communicate that in your own time, but I would say do not leave it too long… we aren’t here to play games with one another!
Written by Isha W.